Radiant...

Radiant. What does this word mean?


1 a: rays or reflecting beams of light b: vividly bright and shining : 2: marked by or expressive of love, confidence, or happiness

“Reflecting beams of light”. I know a lot of people who reflect beams of light. People I greatly admire. What got me thinking about this, this reflecting beams of light, was my bible reading yesterday in Exodus. Exodus 34: 29-35 talks about how, when Moses came down from Mt. Sinai, his face was radiant because he had spoken with God. He was reflecting the light of GOD! He was literally reflecting the face of out holy Father!

A lot has been on my mind lately. I am very doubtful right now. I just want to follow Christ with everything I have. Every thought, every prayer, every step I take, with every resource I have. But I feel like I’m lacking something important and it doesn’t matter that I ask His guidance everyday, I still feel like I’m not doing something right. I long to be radiant. I pray to put Him first everyday and to be a blessing to others because of the way He blesses me and because He’s using me, not because of anything I’m doing. But I just don’t feel it this week. The more I pray, the farther I feel.

“Vividly bright and shining”. I want to be that for Christ. I want to be like the men and women I admire and be radiant for Him, and Him alone.

BAHHHHH! What am I doing wrong?!?!?!?!?! I am praying for brokenness but… maybe I am radian to those around me and I just don’t see it. I know I do a lot of good for God at church, but I want to be of use in the world! Do I radiate to the world? Am I one of those people who the world looks at and says “What is up this that girl”? AHHHHH! I feel maddened! Maybe the desire to be radiant for Christ is enough for Him to use me for His glory…