As per my last post, God is really showing me things about ministry and how I am to interact with my students. Just as I can’t love my students into a relationship with Christ. I can’t save them from sin or their lives or anything else. Something else that God pressed on my heart this week was this
You can’t convince someone into a relationship with Christ.
You can’t just tell someone about how much God loves them, and then love on them yourself and expect drastic changes in their heart, in their relationships, and more importantly in their relationship with God. It’s God. It’s God’s job, no, His joy to change hearts for Him. We are only vessels on this earth, commanded to do His will.
I have a student who wants a relationship with God. But there is one huge issue standing in her way. Herself. She has spent her life with drug addicted parents, with boys who use her body for fun, and she’s also had to live with her own self-deprecating thoughts about herself. She prays for God to change things and gets mad when there is no immediate response from Him.
I can tell Her that He is working in her life. I can point out ways that God had protected her and kept her from harm but those things are turning out to not be enough. I can’t convince her to love God. And I can’t convince her to submit to Him. Her salvation rests on the shoulders of the Holy Spirit, not mine. All I can do is what God commands me to do and pray that in every interacting I have with her, I’m being obedient to Him and not working for my own ends.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Love Isn't Enough
I have learned a lot from being involved in student ministry. A lot about myself and a lot about students. How they think, what they feel. Things like that. One think that God is just killing me with right now is this
You can’t just love them into a relationship with Christ.
I can’t just will them and love them into accepting Him. No matter what I do, what I say, what I give them, how often I pray for them. Non of that can save them. Non of that can give them an authentic relationship with God. The vessel that I am is just not enough. God has got to do all of the work.
How do I leave it all up to God? Well if I’m going to be honest, I don’t always. I want to fix them. I want them to know God and know His love and blessings. I want to free them from bondage. But God is showing me that, even though my loving them won’t change them, it won’t necessarily change their heart for Him, it is what I’m called to do. To love them through their mistakes and their hurts. To show them Christ’s love. All I get to do is be obedient to Him and rest in the fact, and it is a fact, that He is working in those students lives. In ways that I never could. And for that, I am thankful.
You can’t just love them into a relationship with Christ.
I can’t just will them and love them into accepting Him. No matter what I do, what I say, what I give them, how often I pray for them. Non of that can save them. Non of that can give them an authentic relationship with God. The vessel that I am is just not enough. God has got to do all of the work.
How do I leave it all up to God? Well if I’m going to be honest, I don’t always. I want to fix them. I want them to know God and know His love and blessings. I want to free them from bondage. But God is showing me that, even though my loving them won’t change them, it won’t necessarily change their heart for Him, it is what I’m called to do. To love them through their mistakes and their hurts. To show them Christ’s love. All I get to do is be obedient to Him and rest in the fact, and it is a fact, that He is working in those students lives. In ways that I never could. And for that, I am thankful.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Matthew 13:22 The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful. 23 But the one who received the seed that fell on good soil is the man who hears the word and understands it. He produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.”
This passage of scripture was used this weekend at Lifechirch.tv. It struck me, hard. This is a commonly used scripture when illustrating people and their faith. I would imagine that every pastor, at some point in time, has used this passage. But maybe not in the way I intend to. This is what I head when pastor Craig recited those words…
Matt 13:22- the one who received the seeds was me. The thorns the scriptures are referring to are my family. The lifestyle I was raised in. How I was shown by the women in my family to carry myself and behave as a women. Their worries about this life and how to make ends meet for the sake of the family were a heavy burden on me growing up. Any hope of a savior was quickly swallowed up in their worry, snatching all the joy that a savior could bring. The very joy and life that Christ could have given me, to us, was choked out of our hearts as soon as we got back to the car. Life, or the enemy, had intervened where God had intended to bring us joy, and life killed everything.
Matt 13:23- I never saw good soil until I felt old. Old enough to know that life was hard and that, in general, hope had abandoned my family and left us all to rot in our bitterness. And honey, we rot in fashion. But good soil started to find me. But for the most part, it always felt like quicksand. Just as unreliable as everything else, just this the name “happiness” attached to it to make it sound nice. I had a good example of what good soil was, but no follow through from anyone.
I understand good soil now. It’s the person who sees the world for what it is and still has joy in Christ, no matter the circumstance. But it can be more then that. It’s the example we set for others. I have more to say about good soil, but I’m done for now.
This passage of scripture was used this weekend at Lifechirch.tv. It struck me, hard. This is a commonly used scripture when illustrating people and their faith. I would imagine that every pastor, at some point in time, has used this passage. But maybe not in the way I intend to. This is what I head when pastor Craig recited those words…
Matt 13:22- the one who received the seeds was me. The thorns the scriptures are referring to are my family. The lifestyle I was raised in. How I was shown by the women in my family to carry myself and behave as a women. Their worries about this life and how to make ends meet for the sake of the family were a heavy burden on me growing up. Any hope of a savior was quickly swallowed up in their worry, snatching all the joy that a savior could bring. The very joy and life that Christ could have given me, to us, was choked out of our hearts as soon as we got back to the car. Life, or the enemy, had intervened where God had intended to bring us joy, and life killed everything.
Matt 13:23- I never saw good soil until I felt old. Old enough to know that life was hard and that, in general, hope had abandoned my family and left us all to rot in our bitterness. And honey, we rot in fashion. But good soil started to find me. But for the most part, it always felt like quicksand. Just as unreliable as everything else, just this the name “happiness” attached to it to make it sound nice. I had a good example of what good soil was, but no follow through from anyone.
I understand good soil now. It’s the person who sees the world for what it is and still has joy in Christ, no matter the circumstance. But it can be more then that. It’s the example we set for others. I have more to say about good soil, but I’m done for now.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
The Little Things, The Little Things!
I was reminded how the little things in life are sometimes the things we need the most. A simple cup of coffee, a phone call to remind someone of something. These are the things that people need the most sometimes. And these little things can be the biggest example of our walk with Christ, bigger then giving someone a thousand dollars, bigger then giving them a new car. It’s the little things that add up and show the unsaved the selfless nature of Christ and His glorious love.
We so often overlook the little things that we do for other people, but just think about all of the times that the little things that others did for you impacted you in a huge way. The feelings you got from the small act of kindness or an encouraging word can sometimes last longer then a thousand dollars ever could. It’s the love. It’s the love that is shown when little acts of kindness are done. It’s the caring. It’s Christ that is shown.
Titus 3:1
Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good,
We so often overlook the little things that we do for other people, but just think about all of the times that the little things that others did for you impacted you in a huge way. The feelings you got from the small act of kindness or an encouraging word can sometimes last longer then a thousand dollars ever could. It’s the love. It’s the love that is shown when little acts of kindness are done. It’s the caring. It’s Christ that is shown.
Titus 3:1
Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good,
Thursday, August 6, 2009
The Struggle of Us All
This may seem like a strange way to start a blog post, but here I go…
I watched a bug die yesterday. I know I know, slightly on the morbid side. But what can I say? This particular bug was stuck on his back, wings weighed down by the water he had landed in. the entire time I watched him he never stopped moving. Never put his head down to rest. Every moment was spent using every bit of energy he had struggling to escape his fate. In the end, it was all for not. He died in the struggle to survive, most likely know thing that he would never make it out.
This poor bug got me thinking. The struggle to survive. Knowing that in the end, it doesn’t matter, your fate is sealed by the choices you made. How many people struggle everyday to be good, make the right choice, and live a selfless life? But without God, it doesn’t really matter. Your fate is sealed by the choice you made to not believe. And even some who do believe but struggle anyway. Convinced that there is still something they must do to earn God’s love and grace. The exhausting existence of never knowing where you stand in your relationship with God can be almost, if not more, exhausting then not knowing God at all.
So how do we keep our loved ones from this? From the constant struggle to survive? The only real answer I can come up with is you teach. You teach them God’s love and grace with every moment you spend with them. Then maybe one day they will see that the struggle was won many years ago. And that they are free…
I watched a bug die yesterday. I know I know, slightly on the morbid side. But what can I say? This particular bug was stuck on his back, wings weighed down by the water he had landed in. the entire time I watched him he never stopped moving. Never put his head down to rest. Every moment was spent using every bit of energy he had struggling to escape his fate. In the end, it was all for not. He died in the struggle to survive, most likely know thing that he would never make it out.
This poor bug got me thinking. The struggle to survive. Knowing that in the end, it doesn’t matter, your fate is sealed by the choices you made. How many people struggle everyday to be good, make the right choice, and live a selfless life? But without God, it doesn’t really matter. Your fate is sealed by the choice you made to not believe. And even some who do believe but struggle anyway. Convinced that there is still something they must do to earn God’s love and grace. The exhausting existence of never knowing where you stand in your relationship with God can be almost, if not more, exhausting then not knowing God at all.
So how do we keep our loved ones from this? From the constant struggle to survive? The only real answer I can come up with is you teach. You teach them God’s love and grace with every moment you spend with them. Then maybe one day they will see that the struggle was won many years ago. And that they are free…
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Say You Were Wrong
Long time no see! Miss me? Yes, mk. Moving on…
So, today the kids and I were rocking out to some music. A song came on that talks about forgiveness. Part of it goes “I am willing to forget. Are you willing to take ownership?” This line got me thinking about my life a bit.
I tend to be a bitter person. I hold grudges against people. But mostly, I hold them against my family. I tend to feel that there is a lot of things that happened that I deserve an apology for. Not that I don’t that things that I should apologize for, but still, I’m the kid. Well, at least that’s how I look at it. Anyway…
The song got me thinking that even if I never get an apology, I need to be more forgiving. None are served by a bitter heart. And as a friend likes to point out to me “bitterness is like drinking poison hoping the other person will die.” and let me assure you, that is not what I want to happen.
I have been praying harder to be more forgiving, but maybe that’s not enough on my part. Not to say that God isn’t changing my heart or anything, just that maybe I need to take more action in being forgiving. So, if you have read this little blog, please keep me accountable. I have a feeling I’m going to need the help…
So, today the kids and I were rocking out to some music. A song came on that talks about forgiveness. Part of it goes “I am willing to forget. Are you willing to take ownership?” This line got me thinking about my life a bit.
I tend to be a bitter person. I hold grudges against people. But mostly, I hold them against my family. I tend to feel that there is a lot of things that happened that I deserve an apology for. Not that I don’t that things that I should apologize for, but still, I’m the kid. Well, at least that’s how I look at it. Anyway…
The song got me thinking that even if I never get an apology, I need to be more forgiving. None are served by a bitter heart. And as a friend likes to point out to me “bitterness is like drinking poison hoping the other person will die.” and let me assure you, that is not what I want to happen.
I have been praying harder to be more forgiving, but maybe that’s not enough on my part. Not to say that God isn’t changing my heart or anything, just that maybe I need to take more action in being forgiving. So, if you have read this little blog, please keep me accountable. I have a feeling I’m going to need the help…
Monday, May 4, 2009
Letter...
Dearest Jesus,
Sorry I have been such a jerk. But ya know, I could use a break from this life. I have a question for you. Why did you decided to be so amazing today? I have been a selfish, scared, insecure, avoidant, ticked-off, bitter little person since November. So why must you keep being so nice to me? I don’t deserve it, yet you show up again and again, just when I think I can’t say anymore. Just when I think that it doesn’t matter, you show me that healing comes through confession. Give me strength, that I may confess so that I may heal. Thank you for your word. Thank you for using my selfishness this morning to bring me to my knees. I’m sorry it always takes me so long to trust you. Thanks again for being you and working so hard to make me more like you. Amen.
Sorry I have been such a jerk. But ya know, I could use a break from this life. I have a question for you. Why did you decided to be so amazing today? I have been a selfish, scared, insecure, avoidant, ticked-off, bitter little person since November. So why must you keep being so nice to me? I don’t deserve it, yet you show up again and again, just when I think I can’t say anymore. Just when I think that it doesn’t matter, you show me that healing comes through confession. Give me strength, that I may confess so that I may heal. Thank you for your word. Thank you for using my selfishness this morning to bring me to my knees. I’m sorry it always takes me so long to trust you. Thanks again for being you and working so hard to make me more like you. Amen.
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